Hormones
by Bitch Slap Love
Summary: What SHOULD have happened the New Years Stan took hormones. StanKyle D: Crack


Disclaimer: Do not own them.

Title: Hormones

Summary: What SHOULD have happened the New Years Stan took hormones. StanKyle

Warnings: Yaoi Cussing PWP (Kinda)OOC

Couple: StanKyle

Written By: Shino

Inspired By: The episode where everyone gets their 'periods' and Stan takes hormones.

Comments: Omigawd:spaz: Children making-out (and more!) :BLATHERS: NOT COOL:giggles:

Note: In here Stan doesn't have boobs like he did in the episode. Oh, and at some point it refers to Stan having 'long' legs, but all that means is long for an eight year-old.

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Hormones

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Stan growled angrily to himself, pacing back and forth. He didn't understand where all his anger was suddenly coming from but he knew it had to do with a certain Jew deserting him. It was New Years! They always spent New Year together! It was their thing! But NOOO this year Cartman and Kenny had to start their _period_. Then Kyle had to go and do the same, leaving him behind. So, he made a visit to The Professor and got something called 'hormones' to take. But all they were doing was making his face prickly with little hairs, his voice to crack when he spoke and his body ache all over.

Worst of all, he still wasn't having his period!

With an angry noise he whirled and slammed his head against the wall.

"OW!" Stan cried almost immediately after, stumbling backward, palms pressed against his throbbing forehead. "Not smart." He whined, voice squeaking. He fell back as his mother looked in his room.

"You okay, honey? I heard a crash." Her eyebrows furrowed when she noticed the fuzz on his face.

"Yea," He lifted one hand looking at his mom. "Do we have any strawberries?"

-----

Stan was doing something stupid, again. He was standing outside Kyle's window, debating whether or not to actually sneak in through the window or not. He's done it before, but usually they would plan it before-hand and right now he was acting purely on impulse. It was the night before they would leave for Las Vegas and he wanted to talk to the boy. Something weird kept happening to him and Kyle was the only person he could confide in.

After another moment passed before he slid forward, on his new awkward long legs, to window. Stan looked inside the see the red-head getting in bed. He rapped on the glass three times, paused, then another knocked two more times, that way they knew who it was.

The light in the room came on and he ducked down, it was probably the Jew's mother.

A minuet or so later the light turned back off and after a couple more minuets the window opened. A blob of unruly, curly red hair invaded Stan's vision along with a pair of surprised green eyes. "What do you want, dude? Did we have plans?" A hand was extended to help Stan up.

Stan took the offered hand gratefully -though he didn't understand why he was grateful-, but when his hand touched Kyle's, it felt like a blot of electricity ran up his arm, down his spine, then back up to his head. He forced himself not to jerk away and climbed into the room. As he swung his right leg over the ledge and started to swing his left leg he slipped.

Kyle reacted out automatically and jerked Stan forward, just so they could fall in a heap on the floor.

"Oof!" Stan's eyes closed and he breathed deeply before his position registered, he cracked one eye back open and froze. Since when did Kyle look so fucking hoh-!! Stan shook his head, what the hell? Suddenly, Stan heard heavy footsteps; he sucked in a breath, much like the boy under him, and hoped they would pass. Unconsciously, Stan leaned further down, pressing his body against Kyle's.

The steps stopped outside the door, but the knob didn't turn.

"Kyle? You okay in there?" Thank God, it was Kyle's father.

"Yeh- Yeah!" Kyle called weakly, still startled by Stan's actions. "I fell out of bed! Sorry!"

A chuckle sounded weakly through the door. "Be more careful. Goodnight."

Kyle glared lightly up and Stan and said quietly, "I can't breath very well." More loudly he replied to his dad. "NIGHT!"

The footsteps went away and Stan rolled off the red-head. "Sorry man, I freaked. Uh, I'll go." He pulled himself up, blood rushing in a way Stan had never felt before. The weirdest thing of it all was _where_ the blood was rushing to.

"What?" Kyle was confused. "No, you can stay, I was just. . . Surprised." Kyle eyed Stan curiously. "Dude, when did you get so tall?"

"Ah, uh, I guess it's the hormones I've been taking." Stan scratched the back of his head, just now realizing that he was now looking down at his best friend. "Uh, I'm sorry for showing up, I'll leave."

Kyle reached out and snagged Stan's shirt sleeve. "Dude, ya know, you can. . . Like, _talk_ to me about stuff. I'll listen." Kyle fidgeted. "I mean. . . We're, like, super best friends and all."

Stan looked out the window and, without thinking, pulled the red-head to him. "Thanks man." Stan whispered into Kyle's hair as he hugged the Jew. Then, he broke away and, accidentally, threw himself out the window head-first.

Ignoring the very prominent blush adorning his cheeks, Kyle leaned out the window to watch his friend stand and bolt from his yard.

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Stan sighed looking out the window. The pervious night, after he returned from Kyle's, he had a really, really weird dream, that, not only starred the Jew but also had said-Jew doing very, VERY weird things. Namely, to Stan.

He shook his head, trying to clear it. Kyle was sitting next to him on the plane, he shouldn't be thinking of _that_ with the other so close to him.

"Dude, you okay?" A hand dropped onto Stan's wrist and he looked up.

"Hnn?" Was Stan's reply. "Oh, uh, sorry man. Just getting anxious about the thing tonight." Stan grinned and rubbed the back of his head. "What 'er we ganna do while our parents go see Jesus?"

"Uh, well." Kyle started, pulling his hand back into his lap.

"I, and my associate, Kyle, are going to do mature things, without little babies, like yew." Cartman broke in with a smug smile.

Kyle sunk lower in his seat. "Uh, yeah."

Stan glared and with a huff, he leaned over and looked out the window. This was going to be a long flight.

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Stan glared at the two boys chatting on the bed, ignoring him. "Not cool, Kyle."

Kyle looked up, "What?"

"I said," Stan stood and walked over. "Not cool. You're ignoring me. We usually hang out on New Years."

"Yeah, but," Kyle trailed off and glanced at the brunette shaking his head. "I'm mature. I can't hang out with you."

Stan's right eye twitched. "Okay, that does it." Then, thinking of grabbing the other and shaking him, he grabbed Kyle and kissed him.

Oh, shit. Not good.

"OH GOD! THE FAGS! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!" Cartman screeched and crawled into the nearest corner, where he sat and rocked.

Kyle's eyes were wide and he didn't move at first but when he felt hands unzipping his jacket he pushed at Stan's chest roughly. "Dude!"

Stan growled, not thinking and pushed the boy down, placing his attentions to Kyle's neck, bare hands still roaming the small exposed chest before him.

"Dude? What the heh-ELL?" Kyle's head snapped back and his eyes squeezed shut. "Ahn!" His struggling weakened to almost nothing at Stan's actions.

Stan grinned widely, though he was yelling at himself on the inside. He shouldn't be doing this. Not only was Kyle his super best friend he was also a GUY. And the evidence of the aforementioned statement was currently in his hand. Stan leaned down and licked at the tears now spilling down Kyle's cheeks. Did I mention that they're EIGHT?

Kyle let his hands fall to either side of his head, not longer able to hold them up. "Dah-dude. Wah-da-nnn-ell?"

That's when Stan forced himself to stop, and with doing that, he threw himself off the boy. "Oh, God. Oh, God. Uh, man, I-I don't know what I was doing." He swallowed hard. "I'm. . . I'm sorry."

Panting, Kyle managed to wave a hand in a weak 'no problem' kind of way.

Stan bit his bottom lip and looked around; he completely ignored the fat-boy in the corner but did notice a bright light in the sky.

"Dudes, I'll be back."

With that, Stan jumped up and raced to the stage. Please, God, be God.

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"Children blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." Was about all Stan heard come from a weird blue hamster thing's, God's, mouth.

As soon as the fucker shut up, Stan yelled.

"Why the fuck did I just stick my hand down my best friend's pants?"

The area went completely silent and God spoke up after a moment. "Because, child, you are a queer. And you like your friend. Not to mention you took hormones before you should have because your friends had a stomach virus that made them bleed and the other just lied. On that note, no, you're not suppose to get a period because you are a man. That is blah blah blah blah blah."

Stan stared as the weird blue ham- God, flew away. Then, as an after though he cried after him:

"GOD DAMMIT! I'M NOT A FAG!"

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Jesus Christ. I should be killed now, yes?

:D eight-years with libido's that's just CREEPY. :D

So. . . .

Who thinks I should do more eight-year-old Yaoi?

:brick'd:

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